*I wrote this post right before Mother's Day. The point was to make a point. We're not all the same. We weren't created to be. This blog met with both wholehearted agreement and some contention. Either way, I stand by what I said. I'm not perfect. Neither are you. None of us are. I love my kid(s). I'd do anything for them. That's not up for debate.*
I'm not a crafty mom. I'm not a "pinteresty" mom. You'll never find me making home made gifts, or sewing my kids' clothes, or having preschool at home. I won't do art projects at the kitchen or the dining room tables, because let's face it, I'm terrified my kids will glue something to my beautiful tables. I cook because I love to cook, but I cook "grown up" food, and well, I expect my kids to eat it (unless it's spicy then pb&j will have to suffice). I only scrapbook and do photo albums because I do enjoy the memories, but y'all I hate the process. I don't play with toys on the floor, and I don't color in coloring books (I hate coloring). I like my house to be clean and picked up, and while I don't mind a toy here and there, I don't want to look like I live in a toy box. I refuse to give up having nice things just because I have kids.
And you know what? All of this used to make me feel guilty. Isn't this who I'm supposed to be? Isn't this who you become when you give birth to a child? Shouldn't I put those stupid little rubber things on the corners of my entertainment center and paste pictures of my kid's drawings all over my walls? Isn't there some unspoken law that says that I should want to do all of these things? Am I selfish?
I used to think I was, but recently, I've come to the realization that I am who God made me to be. You see we're all different, and comparison, especially between mothers, is a very dangerous thing. Some of us are crafty moms. Some of us are "pinteresty" moms (confession: I really don't like pinterest . . . at all :/). Some of us are the preschool everyday, art project loving, clothes sewing, scrapbooking, coloring book coloring kind of moms. And y'all, if you are, then more power to you (I really do applaud you), but some of us aren't, and that's okay too.
Here's what I am. I am an affectionate mom. I love my son and my future daughter with all my heart. I hate leaving my kid, even for one night. I'm protective to the point of being over protective. I'm like crazy protective . . . I don't think there's a doubt about that. I am a mom who loves to cook elaborate meals for her family. Cooking for others makes me happy even if it is "grown up" food. I am a mom who keeps a clean, safe, calm, and comfortable home. I am a mom who loves to read a good book with her child(ren) and is always up for a good movie. I will build lego creations even if I won't play with them. And I'll listen to my kids read all the live long day. I will take my children for bike rides and walks around the block. I will listen to them sing and dance all day long. I will talk to them about everything under the sun and love it. I will take them to beautiful places they've never seen and expose them to art, and history, and culture. I will teach their Sunday School classes and read them Bible stories, and tell them about Jesus and how He absolutely loves them more than anything else. I'll go swimming, and hiking, and take them out in the waves in the ocean. Because y'all I ain't afraid of no sharks. I'll go on dates with them, because they should get to feel special from time to time. And I'll deal with the fact that even though I'd rather not live in a toybox, it's somewhat inevitable, because that's what happens when you have have kids.
So no, I may not be the June Cleaver, or maybe I am June Cleaver (I mean she never made crafts at the dining room table), but I am the kind of mom that God wants me to be. I'm not perfect, but that's okay. I'm not expected to be, and neither are you. On this Mother's Day weekend, I think it would do us all good to stop comparing ourselves to this picture perfect idea of what we think we should be and just let ourselves be. Be whoever God created you to be as a person and a mother. I have a feeling that your children and your family will be much happier because of it.
Happy Mother's Day!
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2 comments:
Will it be difficult for you when your daughter comes home and needs to do all the messy, crafty, untidy, all over the place playing to catch up with fine motor skills and sensory integration and socialization? When she breaks your nice things in anger or because she doesn't know better? When she gets hurt because you don't like child-proofing? When she refuses to eat the grown-up food you cook? All of these things are typical in toddler/preschooler adoption. I've been there more than once, I am there now with locks on the cabinets and irreplaceable things packed away for a time, with daily guess work on what foods might be accepted, and with stains all over the house from sticky fingers and slobbery tongues. For a decade, I had an always clean, well appointed, and tastefully decorated home, but adoption changed everything. It changed me and who I thought I was and what I thought I needed to be happy. I guess I was meant to be different as a mother than I was before I had kids.
No I will not have a problem as I fully expect to adjust to my child's needs. My son does color, and cut, and glue. I haven't deprived him of that or anything else. He was premature and high needs as a baby/infant. I do know wht is head of me. Please understand that my point wasn't that my house is always perfect, because heaven knows it isn't. My point is that we don't have to all be the exact same picture perfect mother. And yes my house will always be clean . . . maybe not neat but I won't compromise on clean. And as a side note, my house is extremely child proofed. The comment about the corners of the entertainment center was tongue-in-cheek. I have locks on my cabinets, my cleaning supplies are locked away and up high, and there are plug covers in my plugs.
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