I'll admit, I'm anxious. I'm anxious to have Anna here. I'm anxious about the transition and bonding and doing this right. I'm anxious about the responses of friends and family. See Anna doesn't know we're her parents. She doesn't see us as mom and dad yet. All she's ever known is life in an orphanage with multiple caregivers. So when she comes home we have to teach her to see us as her parents. What many others don't understand is that it is NOT harmless for her to be held and hugged and loved on by anyone other than us when she first comes home. For her it could, at the mild end, be confusing, and at the major end, it could hinder her attachments to us and ultimately extended friends and family. Former orphans are often friendly and outgoing, and everyone thinks this is great. While this looks wonderful on the outside, it really means that they are forming lots of shallow attachments rather than deep, meaningful ones. It is of the utmost importance that for a while we keep Anna's world tight and small. That Patrick and I do most of the holding and hugging and meeting of needs. That we spend a lot of time adjusting to life as and learning to be a family of four. It worries me because while I feel like some understand this, others don't. I don't want drama, or anger, or hurt feelings. That is so far from what we want. What we want is to do everything we can to help Anna heal and form healthy attachments. This attachment thing is not magical. It takes work and effort and understanding on everyone's part. But I promise if you allow us this time, which is really just a blip on the radar of her life, there will come a time where everyone can love on her, and she'll be happier and healthier because of it!****
So prayer requests:
* favor with the judge!
* smooth transition into our home and family. And that the time spent in Bulgaria is amazing and that God uses that short time to bond us strongly. Also that the trips to and from are smooth.
* amazing bonding and attachment between Anna and the three of us, and vice versa!
* complete emotional and physical health for Anna. I do believe Jesus meant it when He said He came to "proclaim liberty to the captives" (Luke 4:18), and I believe He can and will heal Anna from the hurts and traumas she's suffered in her short little life here on this earth.
* understanding from our many, many friends and family. We love you all so much and are so incredibly thankful for your support. We couldn't do this without you and continue to need you as we go into the next phase!
* for all of us to be emotionally and physically well throughout this transition, but if you will pray specifically for Andrew. He's very excited, but he's never had to share us. No this is not a bad thing. Not even close, but this is going to rock his world in no small way!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your prayers, your support, your love ... we love you and wouldn't be here without you!
**** I almost didn't type any of this, but I've asked God to help us know how to deal with and respond to others. You've all been waiting and praying right along with us, and I don't want to offend or hurt anyone. It is absolutely so far from my intention. High fives, pats on the back, quick hugs/squeezes while we're holding her are all okay. You can talk to her and smile and be friendly, but please, please help us enforce that we're her parents by directing her attention back to us if and when she reaches out. And like I said before, this will not be forever. It will be for just a few months as we adjust.
**** I almost didn't type any of this, but I've asked God to help us know how to deal with and respond to others. You've all been waiting and praying right along with us, and I don't want to offend or hurt anyone. It is absolutely so far from my intention. High fives, pats on the back, quick hugs/squeezes while we're holding her are all okay. You can talk to her and smile and be friendly, but please, please help us enforce that we're her parents by directing her attention back to us if and when she reaches out. And like I said before, this will not be forever. It will be for just a few months as we adjust.
2 comments:
Do you have a new daughter?
Yes!!! It's been so crazy that I haven't had time to blog. Travel dates are coming!
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