Insanity Defined

Tomorrow morning we are headed to the beach along with my sister and her family. Her three boys plus my one boy equals four boys ages 3 to 12. That ladies and gentlemen is insanity.


So, in anticipation of this big trip I started making lists about a week and a half ago. My first list was made sitting at the bar in my Mom's kitchen on Memorial Day. This of course was a preliminary list, which I had the best intentions of reorganizing. My bratty little brother tore it in half. Why? Because he's annoying. Like I don't know how to use tape.


Anyway, this past Monday, I loaded Andrew up and we headed to a nearby town that actually has stores other than an original Wal Mart (I kid you not . . . old school Wal Mart here) and an overcrowded HEB. I hate going to HEB! I we decided to eat lunch at Chik-fil-A. Two things (1) I eat there because I'm madly in love with their lemonade (I may propose next time I'm there) and (2) I rarely let Andrew play on the playground, because I'm crazy and have to bathe him in Wet Wipes when he's done. Okay, now that all that's out in the open . . . We sat down with our food, and I pulled out my phone so I could rewrite and organize my preliminary list, but when I went to get the list out of it's designated pocket in my purse it. was. gone. I mean like disappeared, vanished into thin air! I promptly asked for a paper bag to breathe into. After my panic attack subsided, I began racking my brain trying to remember everything that was on the list. I punched two lists into my phone (it took for-ev-er . . . you remember how they said for-ev-er on "The Sandlot" . . . say it like that). One I sent to Sarah, my organizationally challenged sister (and she didn't even have the decency to respond to my message), and one for myself. I'm not sure what Andrew was doing while I was working on these lists . . . probably stealing my french fries since I got him fruit with his meal. Yes, I'm that mother.

I then shoved my food down my throat and we headed for Sam's. As much as I hate going to HEB, I love going to Sam's. There is so much stuff you don't need there. It's like a glimpse into Heaven. That was a joke . . . laugh. So, everytime I put  something in my basket I sent Sarah a text telling her what I was getting. I also called her like 12 times. I don't trust her to follow my lists. Who knows what she would actually buy if left to her own devices? Would you believe that she neither responded to my texts or answered my calls? If you know her, you will believe it. She's wildly irresponsible and rebellious that way. I'm wildly annoying by calling people every ten seconds. I finally called my grandmother's phone to get Sarah on the phone (she was with my sister otherwise that would be pointless). When I finally got her on the phone, she said two things, "I've been ignoring you" and "I'm out in the parking lot". Really Sarah? Thanks.

As punishment I followed her around Sam's for a while and instructed her on what to buy. Andrew really wanted to go with her. Apparently she's more fun than me. She lets him eat junk and play on germ infested playgrounds. Whatever! After a while, I got tired of pushing the full basket around and chasing Andrew at the same time so we left. The End.

What's the point to this whole story? There isn't one except to point out that I may be a little on the bossy side. It's okay, I admit it. Anyway, you won't hear from me for a few days. I'm not taking my computer to the beach, and I don't blog from my phone. Finger cramps and all. Also, and completely random, I changed the settings to have a mobile page when you are viewing this on your phone. If anyone uses their phone to read these, and you absolutely hate it let me know and I'll change it back. Talk to ya'll next week!