Wrestling a Water Hose

See this yellow water hose?

Let me tell you something. I. Hate. This. Stinkin'. Hose. Yep that's right I said hate. "But Courtney," you say, "hate is such a strong word. Words like hate should be reserved for things like brussel sprouts and parachute pants and 1980s hairstyles." Nope, I'm not backing down. I said hate, and I'm stickin' with it.

Let me explain. In an effort to revive the Mojave Desert a.k.a. our backyard, I've been watering . . . a lot. First off, this is giving my non-yard loving husband a heart attack. He's not very passionate about mowing and yard work in general . . . even though he has the granddaddy of all lawn mowers. Secondly, he keeps saying, "Our water bill is going to be so high!". Sigh . . . from me. Grimace . . . from him. So I volunteered to pay the water bill next month. I'm not going to try to explain our bill paying system. Our finances are confusing and complicated. Nuff said.

Anyway, focus people, so I'm watering a lot, and I swear that that stupid water hose waits until I get clear on the other side of the yard to set the sprinkler or spray the dirt, and then ties itself in knots. I'm not kidding. It has a mind of its own. It's kind of scary. Like a horror movie . . . "The Yellow Water Hose that Attacked the Short Girl". So I walk ten miles back and just when I reach down to loosen the kink, it wraps itself around my legs and begins squeezing the life out of me . . . or I undo the kink and continue watering the barren wasteland (either way . . . whatever works for you). Just as I'm getting into the dirt watering groove, whaddaya (all one word) think happens? It kinks itself right back up. And once again I hike back to the source of the problem. By the time I reach the kink, I'm sweating profusely and in desperate need of water. No I don't drink water from the hose. I'm already crazy. I can't afford to get lead poisoning. I swear this happens about 50 more times before it's all said and done.

And that is why I hate the water hose. On the other hand, in spite of this ridiculous drought, the Mojave Desert is looking pretty good.