First Things First

"You can't get second things by putting them first; you can get second things only by putting first things first." C.S. Lewis

I've been reading the book "Think Differently, Live Differently" by Bob Hamp. He's a pastor at Gateway Church in Southlake, Texas. Specifically, he's in charge of what they call their Freedom Ministry at Gateway. Patrick, frequently listens to sermons given by Robert Morris, the head pastor at Gateway, and a couple weeks ago, I sat down with him and listened to one that he gave on prayer. It was awesome. So I was going over the website, and I saw this thing called Freedom Ministry. Of course, my first thought was, "Oh that must be for those kind of people." You know, the kind with major problems. Arrogant, to say the least. I quickly discovered that it was not just a ministry for drug addicts, alcoholics, etc., but it really is a ministry for the entire Christian body.

Also, it's not a ministry that focuses primarily on getting people free from their stuff (although, that is one component). Freedom ministry defines freedom as being free to be who God created you to be. And y'all these are some of the best teachings I've listened to (I have to be honest and say I don't regularly listen to teachings), and the book is just as amazing. It's not about getting free from something, it's really about letting God transform you.

So getting to my point, yesterday I was reading the book, and I came across that quote by C.S. Lewis, and then I read the scripture, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." (Matthew 6:33). I've read that scripture a million times before. I've sang the song. I've said verbally that God is first in my life, but for the first time ever, I stepped back and asked myself if I was really seeking God first. Or am I seeking Him for what He can do for me? Do I want Him or His solutions.

Now let me say this, I did not feel condemned or guilty or ashamed. I don't believe that God operates in that way. What I felt was aware. Aware of the fact that I often go to God for a solution to my problems but that I rarely just spend time with Him. I read my Bible for answers, and so I search out certain scriptures rather than asking Him to show me what He wants me to learn through His word. Let me also say this, God cares about our needs and our problems. He wants and desires to help us, but He is more than just a big problem-solver in the sky. He wants a relationship with us. So yesterday, I realized that I've spent most of my life expecting God to solve my problems but very little of my life really getting to know Him. In short, I've been putting second things first.

Maybe this isn't news to anyone but me, but it really made me see things differently. And I didn't wake up this morning totally different, but I also know that God is working in me to grow and change me. This morning I am immensely thankful to Him for showing me this. I am so grateful that He loves me enough to grow me up in Him and to keep working with me and on me. Even if it takes me 30 years to finally catch on to a verse that seems so clear and so simple.