The Lie of Self-Reliance

I have always taken pride in the fact that I was very self reliant and independent. Pressure? No problem, I've got it under control. Have I mentioned I'm also a control freak? The problem with this whole self-reliant thing, aside from the fact that I had way too much pride in it, is that no one is truly self-reliant. If we really rely on ourselves then we're going to be let down in a big way sooner or later.

I feel like God's really trying to work on this part of me. The part of me that says, "I've got it under control". The part of me, that in all honesty, has more faith in myself than in God sometimes. Did I just admit that? It's not easy, giving up control. I've fought for it my whole life. I like to be in charge. I'm bossy.

You know how the Bible says to "cast all your care on God" (1 Peter 5:7)? Some people find it so easy. Me? Not so much. I'm always afraid that if I don't worry something to death . . . if I don't analyze it from every angle . . . if I don't keep it at the forefront of my mind, then the world is going to crash down around me. As if I'm solely responsible for everything going the way it should. But the truth is that's a lie. There is a reason why God is God, and I'm not.

So yeah, this learning not to be self-reliant thing, isn't as easy as it sounds. It takes me learning to shut up and trusting that God will break through the madness that is my mind. Somehow though, I think it will all be worth it in the end.