This week . . . this week was rough. It was kind of one of those perfect storm situations. First off, I teach public school in what's considered a (mostly) low income school. My kids, God bless them, do not all come from the greatest situations. I have some great kids. I have some amazing parents. But y'all, I have a number of kids whose stories would break your heart, and whose behaviors would make your mouth drop to the floor. I have learned and seen and heard things in my last ten years of teaching that had never even crossed my mind in the previous 22 years of my life. Add to that "the test", the STAAR test to be specific, the test that Texas public schools live and breath (please don't ask my opinion) along with the demands that just come with the territory of teaching, and my job can, at times, become extremely stressful. Secondly (and thirdly, and fourthly . . . ), we're building a house, we're updating a home study, we're waiting for an adoption referral, I fell on the treadmill and tore up my legs (I'll tell that story soon enough), and we're in limbo in another major situation in our lives. All this leads to that proverbial "perfect storm", and I knew by yesterday afternoon that my mind and my emotions just needed a break. It's taken me almost 32 years of life to start to realize when I've reached stress and information overload. Thank goodness it's the weekend.
As glad as I am that's it's the weekend, I'm even more thankful that in the midst of crazy circumstances, when it's sometimes hard to get my attention, God always finds a way. On Thursday on twitter Kari Jobe, posted an instagram photo (which I can't get to load) of Jeremiah 29:11:
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'"
I saw it and thought, "Okay, it's a super popular verse, and rightly so, but I didn't think much past it." Then I was trying to get twitter to update later on and it wouldn't go past this scripture. Naturally, I assumed my twitter feed was messing up. Yesterday during conference, I get on facebook, and there it is, Jeremiah 29:11, staring me in the face again. Still, I can be dense so I read it and kept going. And then this morning, I hopped on facebook to see what was happening in the world, and once again, Jeremiah 29:11, different photo, different facebook friend, same verse. I finally started thinking, maybe, just maybe God is trying to say something here. So I opened up my She Reads Truth devotional, and I thought if it's in this devotional then I know God's talking to me. Yes, I know that sounds superstitious, but I'm just being honest. I'm currently doing the one on prayer, and it was about praying boldly, trusting God, believing that He's there for us. The main scripture reference were Matthew 26:36-46 (Jesus praying in the garden) and Philippians 4:6-7:
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
In and of itself, that is a majorly powerful scripture (is there a scripture in the Bible without power in it? I think not), but I didn't see Jeremiah 29:11 so I figured it was all a big coincidence. Have I mentioned I can be a bit dense? Then, I'm reading through my devotional and there at the very end is Jeremiah 29:11. And it (finally) hit me. God has good plans for me. Period. God loves me, and He's watching over me and it's time to stop worrying. In all my ocd, control freak tendencies, it's time to realize that yeah, I have zero control. And I may not know what tomorrow holds, but God does. He has a plan, and people it's a good one.
And I'm here to tell you, that this isn't just for me, it's for you too. Yes, you, the one sitting there thinking, "Well that's all well and good for her. But God doesn't feel the same way about me. You don't know what I've done! You don't know who I am! My life is a mess. I'm a mess." Yep, God has good plans for you. See I believe that Christians tend to think of God's redemption as working for most people. But if you've done something really bad . . . if your life is really a mess, whether it be of your own making or not . . . well . . . but I believe more and more with each day that passes, that God can and will change anyone from the worst of the worst to the seemingly best of the best. And I also believe more and more that it's usually those that think they've got it all together that need the most work. Someone told me recently, that they thought people were either good or bad, and there was no changing that, but y'all the bottom line is without God we're all bad, and thank goodness that the blood Jesus shed does change that.
So if you're wondering and worrying about what you're future holds. Don't. God's got it under control, and let me tell you, it's good.
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