The Treadmill Catastrophe

I promised y'all I'd tell you how I fell on the treadmill a couple weeks ago. There's not much to the story. It remains to be seen if I can even make an entire post out of it. We shall see.

It was late, and I was grouchy, and I really wasn't feeling like working out. Plus, I get a headache every time I go to get on the treadmill. I mean every. single. time. I'm about 100% certain it's psychological since the treadmill clearly isn't putting off a toxic fumes.

So I had a headache and just wanted to get the run over with. And being the smart person I am, I hopped on and started off right at six mph. Warming up is for sissies and people with common sense. By the way, you may have noticed that all of my injuries happen because I do things that I'd tell others never to do under any circumstances.

About a minute into my run, I realized that I had forgotten to turn on my iPod  Now, it's important to note that the reason it took me a full minute to realize I didn't have my iPod on was because I was also reading on my Kindle while running. Yep, that's me, the girl who needs multiple electronic devices to distract her while she's running on her treadmill. Anyway, I grabbed my phone to turn on the iPod  And my short legs? Oh yeah, they were still trucking along. Safety first. Stop the treadmill? No way. Slow down to a reasonable speed? Seriously!?! Had I just turned on the music and put the phone down all may have been well, but no, I decided I needed to change the playlist. That takes talent when I'm standing still, but in that moment, I was pretty sure that if I didn't change the playlist I wouldn't be able to survive my workout so I attempted to change it while running.

And that's when tragedy struck (yes, I know . . . tragedy may be a bit on the dramatic side, but until you've bit it on a treadmill, don't judge). I have no idea how I went down. But down I went. No I wasn't wearing the clip that will stop the treadmill if you fall. Yes, I'm the same women that spent hours on end researching the safest booster seats for her son. I'm a walking, talking, living, breathing, slightly insane contradiction. It's how I roll.

Here's the deal. When you fall on the treadmill, it hurts. It's been approximately six months since I've fallen anywhere so I had almost forgotten the pain of falling in general. But the treadmill. It has it's own special pain since you don't stop when you fall, but continue to get thrown around until such a time as you can either get off or stop the wretched machine.

And what was I thinking during this ten seconds of terrifying pain? "Keep your head up Courtney! Save the face. Save the nose." Have I ever mentioned I like my nose? Yes, that's incredibly vain, but it's true. It's one of my best features. Also flashing through my mind were, "Save your phone. Don't let your fingers get chewed up." And most importantly  "How the heck do I get off this treadmill without breaking it." Because seriously, that's what I should have been concerned with . . . breaking the stupid treadmill.

In the end, I survived with some pretty good battle wounds. One of which I ended up going to the doctor for because apparently, I had an allergic reaction to the neosporin I was generously slathering on my legs each day.

A couple of my battle wounds. I won't show you the worst. It ain't pretty.

Lessons learned: (1) Don't play with your phone while running! and (2) If you must play with your phone while running wear the clip. For the love of the skin on your legs and arms, wear the clip!

And yes, I went ahead and finished working out. I'm awesome that way. 

And apparently, I can drag out a short story forever. As is evidenced by this post.