What I'm Doing Now

So, I know I've eluded to the fact that I'm no longer teaching, but beyond that I haven't said much. I'm sure some of you are wondering what I'm doing with my days . . . or maybe you couldn't care less. Either way, you're going to find out . . . lucky you. Instead of going back to teaching at the end of August I had the opportunity to go to work part time (3-4 days a week with an incredibly flexible schedule) for my family's business(es). I say businesses because my family (parents and grandparents) are in the oil business, and there are different businesses that serve different purposes, but they all work together to make things . . . well . . . work. Confused? Yeah, I'm just now starting to see the pattern of how it all goes together, and my mom, who keeps everything running, is teaching me to do fun stuff like file Railroad Commission reports, and send out the monthly billing, and complete the payroll reports, and all the other things I can't remember unless I look at the running list I have at the office. The truth is I like reports, and working with numbers, and I'm really liking everything I'm doing . . . even if I can't remember it all.

So why no more teaching?

Well, I'm going to try to simplify the reasons for the decision so it doesn't seem like I'm writing a book here. But I also want to explain myself so that people understand.

1. The workload - Most people think teaching is a cushy job. Two weeks at Christmas, Spring Break, summers off, 7:30-3:30 job . . . the thing is teachers are rarely "off". I would say that most teachers easily work 60+ hour weeks. Teachers teach and then when they're not teaching or doing before and after school duties (read: at night, on weekends and breaks, 25 minutes of lunch, and don't forget that super long, 40 minute planning period) they do all the other stuff. What is the other stuff? Lesson plans, long range planning (hours and hours of summer time), student reports, data analysis (read more break and summer work), curriculum analysis, grading, etc. is all the other stuff. Add in after school and Saturday tutoring, and well it's a neverending job.

2. The "test" - Whatever standardized test it may be, I'm not a fan. I've always been pretty vocal about this. I know and believe in the necessity of achievement tests, but y'all the amount of diagnostic and benchmark testing that leads up to the big "test" is absolutely ridiculous. It takes away from real learning and teaching. And preparing for and administering "the test" is one of the most stressful and ridiculous things I've ever experienced (for students and teachers).

3. The stress - Read 1 and 2 and you'll understand. By the end of each day I was emotionally and physically drained. Because not only do you have to deal with all the logistics of teaching you are also a mother, counselor, doctor, and disciplinarian whether you like it or not. And that my friends can be exhausting.

Utimately though, I handled all of this really well, until suddenly I just didn't anymore. I was over it. I was done. Completely and totally burnt out. I wanted less of a workload so I could devote more time to my family. I wanted to save my emotional energy for my kid(s). I didn't want to panic everytime I had to miss a day to stay home with a sick baby. I felt like my job was stealing me from my family. And I wasn't doing either my job as a teacher or my job as a mom to the best of my ability. There was just too much friction between the two. And after a lot of prayer (by "a lot" I mean A LOT), I knew it was time.

Having said that, I also want to say, that I never had a group of kids I didn't love. I'm not going to say that there weren't times when they didn't drive me absolutely crazy, but I loved my kids because they were mine. And I'll always be a teacher at heart whether that be in a Sunday School class, or a school classroom, or some other form. Still like I already said, it was time, and I'm not going to say it wasn't scary. Stepping away from the familar, even when it's not where you're supposed to be anymore, can be terrifying, but it was and is right. And so I have more time for the things that matter. I have more time for housework, helping with school parties, and going to school programs. I have more time to spend with and take care of my family, and I'm just much less stressed in the process of doing all the things I need to do. And that is what I'm doing with myself these days.