Reflections on 12 Years of Marriage (and An Awesome Post Script!)

Tomorrow, on July 12, we will celebrate 12 years of marriage. When I look at this picture, I think, "Gosh we were just babies." Were we ready to be married? Maybe ... maybe not. I think marriage is a lot like having children, it's something you learn by doing. You're going to have good moments and bad moments. You're going to say and do things you shouldn't. You're also going to do and say things you should, and it will be awesome. Two imperfect people, coming together, working toward becoming one isn't a completely cut and dry process, but it a beautiful process. If you were to ask me what to look for in a spouse, I'd say don't look for the smartest, or the most attractive, or the most charming ... I'd say look for someone who respects you. Look for someone who works to understand you. Look for someone who supports you and cares about your needs. Look for someone who serves God first. And also work toward being the person who has all of these qualities. (And if you're already fighting and having major drama before you're married, marriage isn't going to fix those issues. It will only amplify them ... just my 2 cents.)

This past year of marriage has been challenging. Not by our choice, but life has thrown us some pretty big curveballs. I'm not going to rehash everything. If you want to read about it, you can go back through the last year of posts. But what I can say is that this last year has brought out our best (and maybe sometimes our worst) qualities. It has been a refining year for us personally, as a couple, and as a family. It has found us leaning into one another and on God more than ever before. It's been a pretty amazing year. I haven't loved every second. There are actually big chunks, on which I'd rather not dwell, but I wouldn't change it. I think this past year has shaped us and has been significant in growing us up more than any other year in our lives. 

Having said all that, I'm hoping that the next year of marriage and family life holds amazing and beautiful things. I'm praying it's the year we become the parents of two children. I think we're really ready (go ahead and laugh at my naivety). I'm praying that we become even closer in the next year, and we continue to grow in love for one another. I'm praying for great things this next year. 

And now a little (amazing) Post Script: Every year, in August, Bulgaria (and a lot of Europe) basically shuts down for summer vacation. This means that during this time, the Bulgarian government works very little and no referrals are issued. This summer vacation usually starts a little before August, and extends into September a couple weeks. Last year, there were six weeks without any meetings of the adoption committee. I was really dreading the break this year because I knew it would mean weeks lost and wasted. On Thursday, we got word that the branch of government that handles international adoptions will not shut down, meetings will still be held, and referrals will still be issued! This is huge y'all! Things may (or may not be) a bit slower, but stuff will still be happening. That in and of itself is a huge answer to prayer.