Do I choose to work? That's a tricky question. While I was pregnant with Andrew, I never really thought about whether I would work or not, I just always assumed I would. When he was born, I suddenly changed my mind. I didn't want to work anymore. I wanted to be at home with him. Isn't there some law that says you aren't supposed to work when you have kids? Patrick did not agree. Patrick is self-employed so his income is never steady and certainly never guaranteed. While we've always been extremely blessed, it's still good to have at least one steady income coming in. On top of that, the state provides good health insurance for teachers, and I carry Andrew on my policy. When Patrick didn't agree with me, I was a little bit annoyed, so I decided that I would go above his head. I would go straight to God. He would set him straight. I prayed and prayed and prayed that I would be able to stay home. But Patrick didn't budge even a millimeter. I apologized to God for my stubborn disobedient husband, and asked Him to convict him, but still Patrick didn't budge. Didn't Patrick know that James Dobson says it's best for mothers to stay home with their children? Didn't he remember that both of our mothers stayed home with us? Obviously, he was being very pigheaded. One night as I was
Well, I prayed through that whole spring semester, and when April rolled around, I signed my contract. All the while thinking that surely Patrick would have a change of heart. I went ahead and enrolled Andrew in daycare for the upcoming fall semester. He had a wonderful babysitter, but we decided that he needed more interaction with other kids. Summer came and went, but my husband never did have a change of heart. As I got into the swing of another school year, I slowly stopped praying about quitting. Not because I didn't trust God or have the faith I needed, but mainly because I saw how happy Andrew was in school. Andrew is a social butterfly. He loves interaction. He loves talking and playing and singing and doing art. And, truth be told, I enjoy going to work and seeing my friends. Don't get me wrong, working full time and then coming home and cooking dinner, washing dishes, and doing laundry is no walk in the park, and teaching is certainly not the easiest job on the planet (unbeknownst to many, it can be very intense and high pressure). Still, I really like teaching, and I found that I was happy (most of the time) working. Surprise! Surprise!
With the prospect of another child joining our family in the foreseeable future, I've revisited my thoughts about staying home. This is a very different situation than the last. It will definitely be more challenging and traumatic to leave a child who has lived in an orphanage. Attachment is so important with these little ones, and it can be very hard and confusing for them when they are left in a daycare setting. As of right now, I plan on continuing to work. However, I also know that we are in a more stable financial position than we were when Andrew was born. As much as I love teaching, I am open to new possibilities. Having said all that, I'm certainly not quitting my teaching job, anytime soon. I know that even if I wasn't teaching, I would still want to work. I enjoy working, and when I'm home too much, I clean obsessively (I don't think I need to remind you that I'm a type A personality).
I've also evaluated why I thought I had to stay home. I mean I love James Dobson, but he isn't God. My mother stayed home, and I am very thankful for that, but I'm not my mother (even though I want to be just like her when I grow up). Plus, I have the benefit of having a job, that lets me work from 7:15-3:45. Most days we are home by four, and I get to spend a lot of quality time with Andrew. I get two weeks at Christmas, a week in the spring, and two (unpaid) months during the summer.
So in answer to my original question . . . yes, I choose to work. Will I work with the next one? Right now, I'm saying "yes" (obviously I'll take adoption leave). But this time I'm going to let God lead me instead of me trying to lead God. I want what's best for my family as a whole. If I've learned anything about through all of this it is that irregardless of whether you stay home, work part-time, or work full-time, if you are where God wants you then you are in the right place. Not to mention sometimes Patrick is right. Please don't tell him I admitted that.
Thanks for reading my ramblings. Have a great evening.
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character (from Proverbs 31)
Insert Courtney's thought - For the record, I'm nowhere near as awesome as this woman, but hopefully someday, with a lot of prayer and patience from my husband and kids, I'll get there.
10 A wife of noble character who can find?She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
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