Stuff

Edit: In order to see the link to the song click on the word youtube.

It's been kind of a rough day back. Nothing major just a lot of minor stuff. That's all. I don't really like asking for this because I prefer to seem like I've got it all together, but if you've got a moment and feel so inclined would you please say a quick prayer for me? Sometimes all that minor "stuff" can really start to wear on a person.

I'm pretty tired and don't have much to say so I thought I'd share this youtube link to one of my favorite Christmas songs. For the most part I'm a Christmas music purist. I prefer the traditional songs, but occasionally (very occasionally) something new catches my ear. This isn't normally a Christmas Song, and it's certainly not traditional. It's also not new. It's just done in a new way. It's (based on) Pachelbel's Canon in D and is performed by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra (I think it's called the Canon Christmas Rock). Anyway, I love it. (Also this isn't a "wedding" song . . . my husband seems to think it is since it's very popular at weddings. Sorry had to throw that in there.)

Hope everyone had a fantastic start to their week.

Hear Our Cry

If you were to look at the Central Texas Radar tonight you would see a huge mass of green. Unfortunately, it isn't rain but smoke. This morning we woke to clear skies, but as the day wore on the wind picked up more and more. By this afternoon the wind was blowing over thirty miles/hour, and fires started popping up everywhere.

As of right now, there is still a massive fire burning in Bastrop County, which is east/northeast of us. The last time I checked, it had burned over 13,000 acres and over 300 homes have been lost. At this point, the firefighters are focusing on evacuations and getting people out of harm's way. In our own county, Caldwell, over 7000 acres have burned. Tomorrow looks to be more of the same with even drier conditions and high winds.

It is bone dry here in Texas. We've had over 70 days of 100 plus degree heat, and we're currently in the worst drought since 1854 (according to a Texas Forest Service official). The fires are unnerving to say the least, but they also serve to really put things in perspective. They remind me how petty our my life can become. I have friends and family out fighting these fires. I know people threatened by these fires. Isn't it amazing how disasters can serve to remind of us of what is truly important?

I'm going to ask you to take a moment tonight to pray for us Texans. I'm going to ask you to pray not only for both the safety of those fighting and those threatened by the fires, but also that we get some rain. The forecast says there's not a drop of rain to be had in the next seven days, but we are praying that God turns this awful drought around.

Psalm 61^[a]

    For the director of music. With stringed instruments. Of David.
 ¹ Hear my cry, O God;
   listen to my prayer.
 ² From the ends of the earth I call to you,
   I call as my heart grows faint;
   lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
³ For you have been my refuge,
   a strong tower against the foe.

Attack

Note: Just before I was going to post this, I checked on Andrew, who has been sick, and noticed that he was sleeping but breathing very rapidly (almost like a dog panting). His ribs were also retracting, and I quickly decided that a trip to the ER was in order (no, I don't make a habit out of ER trips). Anyway, after one lung x-ray (clear), a dose of steroids, a breathing treatment, checking his breathing rate and oxygen levels five or six times (which both improved considerably after the steroids and breathing treatment), two prescriptions, and a diagnosis of croup (yes, I was right, but I'm not bragging) we were on our way.

In some ways I hesitate to post this, but in others I feel like I need to. If you know me personally, you know that I'm a pretty grounded and practical person. I'm not flighty by any stretch. I'm not the type of person that sees a devil around every bush. While I firmly believe that satan can and does attack people, I also think that some things go with the territory of life. Tires go flat, car batteries die, you forget everything you need for work one day . . . it's life, and we live in an imperfect world. Having said that, I've felt like since we got everything notarized and apostilled for our Dossier and ready to send off, the devil has been working overtime in the "attack" department.

The good news is the Dossier is on its way to Bulgaria. But y'all there have been a few times in this adoption process when I've felt fear so strongly that I could hardly think straight. It's not your run-of-mill everyday fear. It's an unnatural fear (and it usually hits around 2:00 a.m.). There is no other way to explain it. In the past two weeks, I've been not been feeling too great physically. Of course, some, if not a lot, of this probably has to do with the stress of being back at work, but another part of it just seems unnatural. To top it off, Andrew started out with a mild cold on Thursday and Friday and yesterday it suddenly ballooned into to fever, croup-type cough (I'm not a doctor so I won't say it's croup . . . . even though it's croup), and some vomiting. Andrew gets sick. He's a kid and kids don't have the greatest hygiene. But last night when I was lying in his bed with him and praying for him, the thought that we were/are being attacked was screaming in my head.

I firmly believe that the devil hates adoption. First, because it's a picture of what Christ has done for us. He has adopted us into His kingdom and called us His children. How beautiful is that? Second, because it takes a child out of a life with little hope and gives them hope. I believe that the devil does everything he can to discourage parents and try to bring them down and sometimes out-and out stop the process. But the thing is "greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world." (1 John 4:4)

I'm asking you to pray for us and with us today. We are nothing special but feel overwhelmingly that we are meant to be where we are and doing what we are doing. I ask you to pray for adoption families in general as they face the challenges, trials, and triumphs of this process.  I'm asking you to pray specifically for a little fellow named Danil. I don't know all the details, but I know that he is basically being denied adoption due to the specific name of his type of Down Syndrome. And finally, I ask you to pray for us to be strong and healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally and to have favor throughout this process.

Ephesians 6:10-18

The Whole Armor of God
¹⁰ Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. ¹¹ Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. ¹² For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,^[c] against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. ¹³ Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
¹⁴ Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, ¹⁵ and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; ¹⁶ above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. ¹⁷ And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; ¹⁸ praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints

Opening It Up to Questions (and some prayer requests)

Here's a few questions and answers on children adopted from Bulgaria. Most of the information is taken from Creating a Family's Website - "25 Factors to Consider When Adopting From Bulgaria". Have to give credit where credit is due. If you click on the link you can see other questions and answers, but keep in mind that most the information is from May 2009 so some may not be current. For example it states wait times to be 18 months, but we now know that they are between 24-36 months.

What descent/race are the children being adopted?
"Most children are of Roma (Gypsy) ethnicity or Turkish decent, with dark skin tones.  Prospective parents are not allowed to request ethnicity or skin tone, and must be open to all children of any ethnicity." - Creating A Family

How are the children cared for?
Most of the children reside in orphanages although the country is trying to move toward a foster care system.

Why are the children given up for adoption?
"Unwed motherhood, poverty, cultural acceptance of abandonment.  Most of the children available for international adoption from Bulgaria were relinquished or abandoned at birth and have not been removed from the home due to abuse and neglect." - Creating a Family

What is the youngest age a child can be adopted?

Enjoy the rest of your weekend everyone.

18 months - According to some recent information, there may be a move to allow even younger children to be adopted.

If you have any questions at all regarding adoption, why we adopted, or anything else about us in general please feel free to leave the question in the comments, email me, or facebook me. If I think the question is too personal or off limits, I'll let you know, but feel free to ask away. I'll try to answer them as best as I can in an upcoming post. If no one asks, then I'll assume I've done a pretty good job of keeping ya'll informed.

I also have a couple prayer requests. First, the FBI clearance still hasn't made it into our mailbox. Please pray that it gets here. Our mail has been known to get "lost" on occassion. Second, pray that we get everything completed by the time I go back to work on August 9. That gives us a two month window, which is doable, but it doesn't leave any room for error. And we have a deadline of September so we need to get this done. Also, pray that I'll have favor at work both now and when it comes time to travel. I'm pretty sure I'm covered by FMLA, but I really don't want to have a confrontation with anyone. Sometimes I feel like certain people in positions of power don't understand that this is just as important as having a baby biologically. I'm not going to go into detail. I'm just asking for your prayers.

No Heads Will Be Removed During the Reading of this Post

Don't worry I'm not going to berate anyone today. You can even ask me if I've heard anything about our baby, I won't eat you for lunch. I promise. I was in a very sarcastic mood yesterday. It happens sometimes. It was just annoyance with a myriad of little things. Which I'm (mostly) over now. King Kong the witch is dead or at least sleeping soundly! If you missed all that fun and really want to know what I'm talking about you can read here, but I warn you it ain't pretty.

So if you are following the story of Kirill, the second part is posted here. The miracle of this story never ceases to amaze me. God is still in the mountain moving business. No doubt about it.

I'm hoping my FBI clearance is in today's mail. I'm really thankful that I don't have to redo my fingerprints. I've mildly burnt my fingers in the past couple of weeks, and I don't think they would turn out very good. The thing is, I don't think they were that great any of the times they were done. Another testament to God being able to move mountains. I know that it may not seem like a big thing, but when you're dealing with something so essential, albeit basic, to the process, it is a big thing. The quality of the fingerprints or lack thereof wasn't anyone's fault, I cook a lot and seem to have scars on my fingers as a result. They're not noticeable, and it would never matter except if I were to commit a felony or decide to adopt internationally. I decided that committing a felony wasn't really my thing so I went down the adoption road. I'm not sure how I got to the previous sentence. I kind of just started typing and that's were I ended up. A scary look into the inner workings of my mind.

Andrew just asked when his baby sister was coming. Oh the irony. Not to mention that the concept of time is not really present at three years old. Everything is either, and I quote, "yast night" or "tomorrow" (yes I intentionally spelled last yast). Don't worry he'll forget and ask me again tomorrow. He's awesome like that.

Anyway, one of the next steps will involve electronic fingerprinting with NBC and submitting our I-800A. I'm still not entirely clear on who NBC is . . . I haven't tried that hard to figure it out. If you can't tell, I'm kind of being led like a horse with blinders on. Look straight ahead and follow instructions. No birdwalking here. The good news is, the first half of our paperwork is done. The bad news is we still have about half of the paperwork and approval process left to go. Either way, we are moving forward.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers, and if you'll just say a brief prayer for adoptive families in general, I promise it will be greatly appreciated. There are so many obstacles to overcome, but we know that "with God all things are possible" (taken from Matthew 19:26).

Ramblings of a Working Mother

I am a working mother . . . I teach school so 10 months out of the year I work and 2 months I stay home. For the record, I consider myself a full time wife, a full time mother, and a full time teacher.

Do I choose to work? That's a tricky question. While I was pregnant with Andrew, I never really thought about whether I would work or not, I just always assumed I would. When he was born, I suddenly changed my mind. I didn't want to work anymore. I wanted to be at home with him. Isn't there some law that says you aren't supposed to work when you have kids? Patrick did not agree. Patrick is self-employed so his income is never steady and certainly never guaranteed. While we've always been extremely blessed, it's still good to have at least one steady income coming in. On top of that, the state provides good health insurance for teachers, and I carry Andrew on my policy. When Patrick didn't agree with me, I was a little bit annoyed, so I decided that I would go above his head. I would go straight to God. He would set him straight. I prayed and prayed and prayed that I would be able to stay home. But Patrick didn't budge even a millimeter. I apologized to God for my stubborn disobedient husband, and asked Him to convict him, but still Patrick didn't budge. Didn't Patrick know that James Dobson says it's best for mothers to stay home with their children? Didn't he remember that both of our mothers stayed home with us? Obviously, he was being very pigheaded. One night as I was whining praying, the thought "maybe you aren't supposed to stay home" flitted through my head. Of course I immediately rebuked the devil. God would never want me to work . . .

Well, I prayed through that whole spring semester, and when April rolled around, I signed my contract. All the while thinking that surely Patrick would have a change of heart. I went ahead and enrolled Andrew in daycare for the upcoming fall semester. He had a wonderful babysitter, but we decided that he needed more interaction with other kids. Summer came and went, but my husband never did have a change of heart. As I got into the swing of another school year, I slowly stopped praying about quitting. Not because I didn't trust God or have the faith I needed, but mainly because I saw how happy Andrew was in school. Andrew is a social butterfly. He loves interaction. He loves talking and playing and singing and doing art. And, truth be told, I enjoy going to work and seeing my friends. Don't get me wrong, working full time and then coming home and cooking dinner, washing dishes, and doing laundry is no walk in the park, and teaching is certainly not the easiest job on the planet (unbeknownst to many, it can be very intense and high pressure). Still, I really like teaching, and I found that I was happy (most of the time) working. Surprise! Surprise!

With the prospect of another child joining our family in the foreseeable future, I've revisited my thoughts about staying home. This is a very different situation than the last. It will definitely be more challenging and traumatic to leave a child who has lived in an orphanage. Attachment is so important with these little ones, and it can be very hard and confusing for them when they are left in a daycare setting. As of right now, I plan on continuing to work. However, I also know that we are in a more stable financial position than we were when Andrew was born. As much as I love teaching, I am open to new possibilities. Having said all that, I'm certainly not quitting my teaching job, anytime soon. I know that even if I wasn't teaching, I would still want to work. I enjoy working, and when I'm home too much, I clean obsessively (I don't think I need to remind you that I'm a type A personality).

I've also evaluated why I thought I had to stay home. I mean I love James Dobson, but he isn't God. My mother stayed home, and I am very thankful for that, but I'm not my mother (even though I want to be just like her when I grow up). Plus, I have the benefit of having a job, that lets me work from 7:15-3:45. Most days we are home by four, and I get to spend a lot of quality time with Andrew. I get two weeks at Christmas, a week in the spring, and two (unpaid) months during the summer.

So in answer to my original question . . . yes, I choose to work. Will I work with the next one? Right now, I'm saying "yes" (obviously I'll take adoption leave). But this time I'm going to let God lead me instead of me trying to lead God. I want what's best for my family as a whole. If I've learned anything about through all of this it is that irregardless of whether you stay home, work part-time, or work full-time, if you are where God wants you then you are in the right place. Not to mention sometimes Patrick is right. Please don't tell him I admitted that.

Thanks for reading my ramblings. Have a great evening.

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character (from Proverbs 31)

Insert Courtney's thought - For the record, I'm nowhere near as awesome as this woman, but hopefully someday, with a lot of prayer and patience from my husband and kids, I'll get there.

 ¹⁰ A wife of noble character who can find?
   She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
   and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
   all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
   and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
   bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
   she provides food for her family
   and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
   her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
   and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
   and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
   and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
   for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
   she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
   and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Peace in the Peacemaker

I've had a bit of a crazy day. Nothing adoption related just the normal craziness of life. Thankfully, we have tomorrow off. Not because it's Good Friday mind you, but because it's a bad weather day that happens to fall on Good Friday. But nonetheless, tomorrow is Good Friday. Good Friday . . . the day that Jesus was crucified. Easter . . . the day He was resurrected. I used to take for granted that everyone knew that. I used to take for granted that most people believed that. I used to be a lot more naive. I've found more and more that people don't want to hear about God. They don't care, they don't want to offend anyone, they don't want to be offended. If you don't believe in God, if you don't believe the Bible, I ask you to bear with me. Please don't stop reading.

You see, I was raised in church. I was there every Sunday and Wednesday from as far back as I can remember. I have good memories of going to church, but going to church (as wonderful as it is) is not the same as having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. It's not what brought to the point I'm at today. I had to be willing to take it a step further. I've heard people say they "do the church thing" because they think it's "the right thing to do". They figure they need to go for their kids or to make friends or whatever. And I usually think how sad, they are missing the whole point. A relationship with God. I've told you before I'm a worrier. But I find the answers to those worries through Jesus. The Bible never fails to bring me comfort (and sometimes conviction). Prayer never fails to bring me peace. Some of you are saying, "Well that's nice, she finds her peace and comfort in the Bible and her God." But I'm telling you it's more than that. There are a couple of times in my life that I can remember feeling God's peace consume me in such a way that it couldn't be anyone but God. The first was when I was around 12 years old. My grandfather had a brain tumor. Brain tumors are never minor. I can remember being in my bedroom alone and praying that God would take care of him. I don't remember the exact words I prayed. What I do remember is knowing without a doubt that everything was going to be okay. And you know what? It was. I'm not saying it was easy or that he didn't have a long road to recovery, but I'll see my grandfather on Easter Sunday. He's still very healthy, and while I won't tell you his age, I will tell you that I'll be 30 in less than two months. The other time was the night Andrew was born. To put it simply Andrew's life and my life were both in danger. I was in serious trouble. From the beginning of the problems to the end of the emergency c-section it was about 10 hours. And yet I never even felt the slightest anxiety. Me the worrier didn't feel an ounce of anxiety. Looking back I find this so strange, but so amazing. I wanted to know Andrew was okay, but the peace I felt was indescribable. Every day of my pregnancy I prayed that Andrew would be healthy and strong. And my son, who was five weeks early, who weighed 4 lbs 13 oz., who was only 17 inches long, who should've stayed in the NICU for at least two weeks, went home with me the day I left. And more than once the doctors and the nurses commented on how healthy and strong he was. Believe me bringing home a baby that small had its challenges, but without a doubt, I believe that Andrew is nothing short of a miracle.

The thing is I'm not perfect. I mess up on a regular basis, but thank goodness I'm covered by the blood of Jesus Christ. My life is not perfect. Sometimes things go wrong. But I want you to know that no matter what you're facing there is a God that loves you. And in the end, even when life is far from perfect (and most of the time it is), I'd much rather start each day with Jesus by my side than without Him.

Have a safe and blessed Easter everyone!

 

John 3:16-18 (New King James Version)

¹⁶ For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. ¹⁷ For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.
¹⁸ “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

Quick Request

I'm not going to post anything about us tonight. I'm just going to put a request out there for another adoptive family that I have never met yet my heart is breaking for them. I stumbled on their blog, Our Eyes Opened, through another blog that I enjoy reading from time to time. They are trying to adopt a young boy named Kirill from Russia, but because Kirill has down syndrome the judge has said that he is "not socially adaptable" and cannot be adopted. This family has given their time, their money, their energy, and most of all their hearts to this process, and now are fighting to bring Kirill home. Please join me and thousands of others in prayer that this decision will be overturned. Kirill deserves a loving home and loving parents as much as any child.

Ephesians 3:20-21 (New King James Version):
20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, 21 to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.