Changing Focus

If you look up the phrases "laid-back", "go with the flow", "calm", "patient", etc. you would not see a picture of me beside any of them. I am absolutely none of the above. I have a tendency to get extremely keyed up. I worry excessively (it's ridiculous). I don't like changes in plans. In short, I can be a whole heck of a lot of fun to be around.

For the past few weeks, work has been incredibly stressful. In addition to teaching (which is actually my job description), we are facing the prospect of a new "more rigourous" standardized test. Oh my, how Texas loves to test their kids to death. I've been swamped with paperwork, grading, reports, and planning. So of course, in true Courtney fashion, I let the overstressed switch flip and then the bad mood/complaining/whining fest began.

I've let that lovely bad mood fester for weeks. It's made me edgy, frustrated, and tense at home, at work, pretty much everywhere. I've been super pleasant to be around. But you know, I realized the other day, it's really not helping anything. In spite of what is going on around me, despite the fact that I feel like unreasonable expectations are being placed on me, God doesn't call me to be grouchy.

With the beginning of November, and Thanksgiving just around the corner, I've decided to focus on all I have to be thankful for. I have a wonderful family, a nice home, a job, food on my table, the list goes on and on. I've decided to spend less time whining and worrying (a colossal effort for me) and more time praying (not just for myself but also for others). I've decided to trust God that He will take care of all that concerns me. I'm not saying it's easy or that everything is roses and daisies. I'm not saying that I'll be perfect every second of everyday (baby steps people). I'm just saying that I'm working to change my focus and my stinky attitude. Just please don't try to talk to me before 7:00 a.m.; I cannot be held responsible for things I do or say before the sun comes up. ;)

The LORD will perfect that which concerns me

Your mercy, O LORD, endures forever;
Do not forsake the works of Your hands.

Psalm 138:8