The Fit I Threw

Yep, you read it correctly. I threw a fit. In retrospect it was ridiculous. But in the moment I felt completely justified. Completely.

The other night, Patrick and I were discussing the house plans . . . when we are going to start building . . how much we still need to save (about a bazillion dollars) . . . what needs to go . . . what needs to stay . . I started whining (try not to be too shocked). "This is gonna take forever. I'll be forty before we start building (I'm 31 so it's not that far off). Why do you want so much stuff (accusing Patrick of running the bill up)?" And on and on and on and on . . . 

It went quickly from whining to gross over-exaggeration to a full-on fit. I have those sometimes. I can spiral quickly out of control, and go from 31 to 11 in seconds. It's one of Patrick's favorite things about me. I got over it pretty quickly. That's one of my strengths. I get over things in a short amount of time. Not that it outweighs the fit, but yeah . . . 

So, I got over my fit. Things were put back into perspective. I will not be forty when we finally build. We do need to save more money but a bazillion dollars . . . not quite. I tend to rush headlong into things. Neither Patrick nor myself are known for putting a lot of thought into things before we move forward. But this isn't just a "thing". This is a house. A home. Our home for a long time. The home where we want to raise our children.

And it really got me to thinking about contentment. And what it means to be content. Does it mean that we should settle? Should we give up on our dreams? Should we stay stagnant? Not even close, but restlessness, impatience, frustration all scream dis-contentedness  Settling rather than waiting patiently and trusting God for His timing is what you do when you're discontent. 

As hard as it is. I realize that in the midst of waiting I need to learn to wait. I need to learn to do it in a contented way. I need to learn to stop rushing into things. Easier said than done . . . 

^{Philippians 4: 11-13
11} I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.