Thursday Thoughts

- Andrew will be six on Sunday. I'm so not ready for him to be six. It seems so old. If you're friends with me on Facebook or follow me on twitter or instagram, you may have seen that he told me yesterday that he was in love with a little girl in his class. I know he has no idea what he's talking about, but geeze . . . I'm certainly not ready for him to be in love with anyone but me. ;)

- This morning I grabbed a Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks. It's not the first one I've had, but it's the first one this year. And my memory had faded a bit. Y'all I'm sorry. Please don't lynch me, but I can't make myself like it. It's not the pumpkin or the spice; it's the fact that it's so stinkin' sweet. It's like syrup with a drop of coffee poured in. I drink coffee because I like coffee. I like the flavor. I like the richness. Sometimes I'll splash a little flavored creamer in my coffee. Most of the time I drink it with half and half sans sugar. I guess it's not the Pumpkin Spice Latte in particular I dislike as much as the sweet syrupy coffee drinks in general. I tried to fit in with the crowd, but I just couldn't do it. No more lattes for this girl.

- Adoption. I typed the word, and I stopped. I have no idea what to say. I'm really worn out. I'm on a Bulgarian adoption Facebook page, and I'm also part of a Yahoo group, and I think I need to step back for a while. Everyone has an opinion. Most aren't so great. There's a lot of support, but there's a lot speculation and sometimes just plain critical comments between members. I know I need to step away, but sometimes I just can't seem to do it. To be honest, like gut wrenching honest, this process will wear you down. It's not for the faint of heart by any stretch. I thank God that He gives us strength as each day passes. I don't know how anyone could go through this without Him. It is exhausting; it is emotionally draining; it is just plain hard. I want nothing more than to bring a little girl home . . . our little girl home. I pray everyday . . . some days more times than I can count. Andrew prays every night for his sister to come home. He asks everyday how much longer it will be, and y'all it's heartbreaking. I'm learning to trust God like never before. To rest in His peace that passes all understanding. But if you know me, you know I'm a doer not a rester. But there's nothing for me to do. It's all in His hands now.

- In keeping with my last thought, please pray for us. Pray for strength, patience, and stamina. And while I'm being completely honest, please pray we get a referral very soon. Also, pray for Bulgaria. Pray that they pick up the process and begin issuing referrals. Pray for the children. The boys and girls who have no mother to hold them and no father to give them piggy back rides. Pray that they find homes. Pray for a miracle for all involved. It seems like so much but I know it's far from impossible with God.

- I had other thoughts, but they've left my head. So with that I'll say goodnight all!