Friday Night Happenings

Good morning all, I'm sitting at my kitchen table eating choc. chip cookies and drinking coffee for breakfast. It's part of my "eat all the sugar you can in the first hour your up" diet. Then in an hour-and-a-half my blood sugar can plummet, and if I don't eat something immediately, I'll feel sick. It's a very practical well-rounded diet. You should only attempt it while under the care and watchful observation of a professional (or not).

Andrew just got home from my sister Sarah's house. It's the only place he's ever stayed the night. It's the only place he will stay the night. I think it's because my 8 year old nephew lives there (which makes sense since he is Sarah's son), and the fact that when he stays with Sarah he can do whatever he wants. Don't want to take a bath, even though you stink? Don't worry, you don't have to. Want to eat pizza and chocolate milk for breakfast? Sure, no problem. I think it's payback for all the things we let my nephew get away with when he was little. Although, I must say that while I will eat secretly shove cookies in my mouth for breakfast, I would never allow my child to do that. Boo! Hiss! Boo! Mom is no fun.

So last night Patrick and I had a night to ourselves. We decided to brave the insane traffic and headed into Austin. We ate at Pappadeux. I love their crawfish etouffe. I could eat it everyday. Actually, if I'm ever on death row it will be my request for my last meal. If I'm ever on death row, we've got bigger problems than what I eat for my last meal. After that we still had time to kill and no kid to encumber us, so we headed to Round Rock to IKEA. Okay first of all, I've never been to IKEA. That place is ridiculously massive. I was not wearing the right shoes to trek 26.2 miles through IKEA. Some of you will get that, some of you won't. In case you don't know, 26.2 miles is the distance of a marathon. If you already know that, I apologize for explaining it to you.

I have never seen so much stuff in my life. I wasn't overly impressed with the furniture*, but if I was still in college that would be the place to buy furniture for my apartment. When it came to organizational stuff, I was in heaven. I love to organize, and if you're going to organize that is the place to be. I've also decided that if we need to buy a crib, we will buy it there. They are cheap and small, and since we are not adopting a baby-baby we won't need one for long. What exactly is a baby-baby you ask? Oh yeah that's the super technical (i.e. Courtney) term for a baby under a year old. Actually, even if we do end up with a younger one, I still think we'll buy a crib there. And I liked some of the other stuff in the kid's section. Their kid's beds are pretty cute, but we already have all the furniture for our little girl's room, and I've learned that there is no need to spend a fortune on a crib. So we didn't buy anything, but when the announcer guy came on the intercom and said "IKEA will be closing in 5 minutes" it was fun to watch all of the people with full baskets and screaming kids booking it to grab their last purchases and get to the front. All I can say is "get out of the way."

Then we came home and discovered that a mouse has somehow taken up residence in our bathroom wall*. Then I couldn't sleep well, because I kept dreaming about a massive rat attacking me in my sleep. It may have been all the food I ate. Nevertheless, now I'm going to call an exterminator. Mice (even one mouse), and I do not live well together.

*Public Service Announcement - I feel that I must explain that there is a massive highway being built very close to our little subdivision. That, combined with the fact that Texas is in the midst of an extreme drought, is causing all critters of all shapes and sizes to find their way into our neighborhood looking for food and water. We do not make a practice out of harboring mice, snakes, rats, raccoons, possums, etc. in our home. Again this was a  public service announcement.

*Public Service Announcement Numero Dos - If you bought your furniture at IKEA, I think it is beautiful, comfortable, and I love it.

Correction

You most likely won't notice, and if you're new then you definitely won't notice, but I went back and edited some information out of my posts. In a couple of posts I had included information from email updates our caseworker sends. It was all paraphrased, but nonetheless it was still from those emails. Anyway, AGCI (our agency) has asked that we do not share any of that information on our blogs. I feel horrible that I may have inadvertently shared something that I shouldn't have no matter how innocent the intention. So out of respect for AGCI and Bulgaria, during my lunch break, I quickly removed anything from those emails.

I shared all this not so much because I needed to, because like I said most likely no one would've noticed, but because just last night I read a devotional about correction. I hated being corrected. I always have. Even when the correction is for an action that was not purposefully wrong, I immediately go on the defensive. I want to explain why I did what I did and justify my actions. I want to do everything right the first time. But I'm human and being human, I make mistakes rather often. This is one area where I know God is dealing with me. I am not always right, and I need to learn to admit that. Wow! That's not easy to say. But maybe it will get easier with time . . .

Not to worry, I will continue to regale you with tales of our exciting life and adventures in adoption, but I will use more discretion in the future. Yes, I know you can hardly contain your excitement.

Proverbs 13:18 (New King James Version)

¹⁸ Poverty and shame will come to him who disdains correction,
      But he who regards a rebuke will be honored.

Timing is Everything

Let me set the scene for you: The dishes are done. The dogs and cat are fed. The house is quiet, mostly because Andrew and Patrick are outside (ahhh sweet peace), and I think, "what a great time to type out a quick update". First mistake, even thinking that I had a moment of quiet before 10:00 p.m. Then I hear crying from outside. "Should I go?" "Should I wait and see if it stops?" I decide I'd better mosey outside because I assume, correctly, that something has to be wrong. Second mistake, going outside. Why you ask? Whatever did you find? I'm just warning you, you asked for it. Somehow, in the dimming light of evening, Andrew had managed to step in dog poop. Yep, that right, I said dog poop. Grossed out? So was I. So was he. I'm sorry, but I'm just keepin it real. So instead of that quick post, I got to spend some quality time with my son's beloved boot, a water hose, and some really stinky dog poop. I'm just going to go ahead and tell you that between my animals and my kid, about 50% of my life deals with poop in some form or fashion. As everyone has gotten older it has gotten better, I think it used to be more like 75%. And now that I've dedicated an entire paragraph to poop, I think I most likely lost at least half of the people that read this blog. Honesty is not always the best policy.

For those of you still reading, I talked to our caseworker today. She is always so peppy and happy and full of excitement. I like talking to her, it puts me in a good mood. I'm pretty sure I could tell her that yesterday Patrick and I lost our minds for a little while and decided to rob a bank, and she could put some sort of positive spin on it. Don't worry we are no modern day Bonnie and Clyde. We couldn't pull it off. We would get in an argument. Just joking. Anyway, back to adoption. She (meaning our caseworker) explained some the upcoming paperwork a little more today, and after our conversation, I think it will be more like June or July before we can file our dossier. That's okay. I'm learning to let things happen in there own time. Not that I'm lazy about getting things done, but more that I don't wear everyone and myself out trying to get them done. Please remind of that, when I'm all frazzled and insane acting come June.

So that's about all I know for tonight. I'm outta here. Have a great Friday.

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

 ¹ There is a time for everything,
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:
 ² a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 ³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
 ⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 ⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 ⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 ⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 ⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace.

Warning! Information Overload . . .

Hey everybody! Hope this Wednesday evening finds you good. I survived the TAKS test and if everything goes as planned it will be the final time I administer that test. Now comes the STAAR test. I'm not going to give my opinion on all this testing. I'm sure you can figure it out for yourself.

I have to say that the more people I tell about our adoption, the more I am amazed at their responses. Sure, I get those "Why would you want to adopt from Bulgaria?" or "What if something's wrong with her?" comments, but for every rude comment I get, I think I get 10 more complimentary ones. People are genuinely interested in knowing more about the whole process, and I think the question I get the most is "Have you met her yet?" followed by "When do you get to pick her up?".  So I'm sure that if all these random people in the "real" world want to know, then so do you wonderful internet friends of mine. So here goes.

Adoption is not usually a quick process. Whether it be domestic or international, adoption is about red tape galore. I mean if I had a penny for all the miles of red tape, I'd be a wealthy woman. As much red tape as there is domestically, there is twice as much internationally. For example, the FBI fingerprints. Those babies are reserved for international adoption and even then, not all international adoptions require them. And to put the cherry on the sundae, they have to be done in ink. One of most important government agencies can't be bothered with things such as electronic fingerprints, or so I'm told.

Another aspect of all adoptions is the home study. Which by the way ours has been submitted for review! Hooray! In case you don't know the home study is basically a report (ours is 20 pages long), that states that you are physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually ready to adopt. It also talks about the state of your home and your finances.

While we are finishing up the home study, we are also working on compiling our dossier. It's a French word. Look up the pronunciation. Please don't say it like it looks. The dossier gets submitted to Bulgaria. It will include lots of documents, including our beautiful home study. Somewhere in this we have to be refingerprinted. This time electronically. Once our dossier is submitted, it's all out of our hands. Let the nail-biting begin. I hate being out of control. I. Am. A. Control. Freak. (If any of my fourth graders read this, I'm in trouble. Big time grammar issues!)

So right now we are still gathering paperwork and waiting for my fingerprints to be approved. I know I've exhausted the topic of my fingerprints. At this point you are saying, "Good grief Courtney! Quit whining about your stinkin fingerprints!". But people I need them to complete our dossier. Again I say "Come on FBI!" We hope to submit our dossier by the end of May or beginning of June.

Then the wait begins. Now here is the thing. The wait can be long. Like years long. Like around 2 years long. At the end of the wait we receive a referral, which we either accept or decline. If we accept (which we most likely will), we get our travel dates. Within a month we will travel to Bulgaria to meet and spend 5 days with our baby. Now for the clincher. We come home. Without our baby. For 2-4 months. Ugh . . . During this time Bulgaria will process our paperwork, so that when we go back the court appearance is merely a formality. The second trip will be approximately 7-10 days, and then we head home with our little girl. Everybody say "Hallelujah!" When we come home we will have to complete 5 post adoption reports, but the adoption is finalized in Bulgaria.

So there ladies and gents, is the international adoption process in a very simplified nutshell. This is why my FBI fingerprints are so important. Did I mention we need them for our dossier? Oh I did? Good, just wanted to make sure we were clear on all that. Anyway, we are not on the waiting list until we submit our dossier to Bulgaria and it has been accepted. Hence all the whining.

Some A lot of this was probably repetitive, especially to those of you that know us, but I know (or at least I think) that people want to know and understand. I also want you to know that while I'm always asking for prayers, I so appreciate every prayer you say. So many people around of us have become a part of this amazing journey. Your support means more than you will ever know.

Ramblings of a Working Mother

I am a working mother . . . I teach school so 10 months out of the year I work and 2 months I stay home. For the record, I consider myself a full time wife, a full time mother, and a full time teacher.

Do I choose to work? That's a tricky question. While I was pregnant with Andrew, I never really thought about whether I would work or not, I just always assumed I would. When he was born, I suddenly changed my mind. I didn't want to work anymore. I wanted to be at home with him. Isn't there some law that says you aren't supposed to work when you have kids? Patrick did not agree. Patrick is self-employed so his income is never steady and certainly never guaranteed. While we've always been extremely blessed, it's still good to have at least one steady income coming in. On top of that, the state provides good health insurance for teachers, and I carry Andrew on my policy. When Patrick didn't agree with me, I was a little bit annoyed, so I decided that I would go above his head. I would go straight to God. He would set him straight. I prayed and prayed and prayed that I would be able to stay home. But Patrick didn't budge even a millimeter. I apologized to God for my stubborn disobedient husband, and asked Him to convict him, but still Patrick didn't budge. Didn't Patrick know that James Dobson says it's best for mothers to stay home with their children? Didn't he remember that both of our mothers stayed home with us? Obviously, he was being very pigheaded. One night as I was whining praying, the thought "maybe you aren't supposed to stay home" flitted through my head. Of course I immediately rebuked the devil. God would never want me to work . . .

Well, I prayed through that whole spring semester, and when April rolled around, I signed my contract. All the while thinking that surely Patrick would have a change of heart. I went ahead and enrolled Andrew in daycare for the upcoming fall semester. He had a wonderful babysitter, but we decided that he needed more interaction with other kids. Summer came and went, but my husband never did have a change of heart. As I got into the swing of another school year, I slowly stopped praying about quitting. Not because I didn't trust God or have the faith I needed, but mainly because I saw how happy Andrew was in school. Andrew is a social butterfly. He loves interaction. He loves talking and playing and singing and doing art. And, truth be told, I enjoy going to work and seeing my friends. Don't get me wrong, working full time and then coming home and cooking dinner, washing dishes, and doing laundry is no walk in the park, and teaching is certainly not the easiest job on the planet (unbeknownst to many, it can be very intense and high pressure). Still, I really like teaching, and I found that I was happy (most of the time) working. Surprise! Surprise!

With the prospect of another child joining our family in the foreseeable future, I've revisited my thoughts about staying home. This is a very different situation than the last. It will definitely be more challenging and traumatic to leave a child who has lived in an orphanage. Attachment is so important with these little ones, and it can be very hard and confusing for them when they are left in a daycare setting. As of right now, I plan on continuing to work. However, I also know that we are in a more stable financial position than we were when Andrew was born. As much as I love teaching, I am open to new possibilities. Having said all that, I'm certainly not quitting my teaching job, anytime soon. I know that even if I wasn't teaching, I would still want to work. I enjoy working, and when I'm home too much, I clean obsessively (I don't think I need to remind you that I'm a type A personality).

I've also evaluated why I thought I had to stay home. I mean I love James Dobson, but he isn't God. My mother stayed home, and I am very thankful for that, but I'm not my mother (even though I want to be just like her when I grow up). Plus, I have the benefit of having a job, that lets me work from 7:15-3:45. Most days we are home by four, and I get to spend a lot of quality time with Andrew. I get two weeks at Christmas, a week in the spring, and two (unpaid) months during the summer.

So in answer to my original question . . . yes, I choose to work. Will I work with the next one? Right now, I'm saying "yes" (obviously I'll take adoption leave). But this time I'm going to let God lead me instead of me trying to lead God. I want what's best for my family as a whole. If I've learned anything about through all of this it is that irregardless of whether you stay home, work part-time, or work full-time, if you are where God wants you then you are in the right place. Not to mention sometimes Patrick is right. Please don't tell him I admitted that.

Thanks for reading my ramblings. Have a great evening.

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character (from Proverbs 31)

Insert Courtney's thought - For the record, I'm nowhere near as awesome as this woman, but hopefully someday, with a lot of prayer and patience from my husband and kids, I'll get there.

 ¹⁰ A wife of noble character who can find?
   She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
   and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
   all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
   and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
   bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
   she provides food for her family
   and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
   her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
   and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
   and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
   and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
   for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
   she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
   and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.