But last night, while reading an awesome Ann Voskamp devotional my good friend Cris gave me, this quote jumped off the page.
I am no stranger to anxiety and worry. There's not a time in my life that I don't remember wrestling fear. The kind of fear that makes you physically nauseated. That presses on your chest like an anvil. That makes your heart race and blood pound in your ears. Fear was woven into almost every moment of my existence. It was the companion I never wanted that wouldn't leave, and by worrying, I felt like I maintained some semblance of control.
There was a time when I would've just told you that's who I was, an anxious person, but a few years ago, God corrected me in that. He in the most gentle way, revealed the lie. It's a lie so many believe and live under. That this is somehow "who we are". That God made us this way. He did not create me to be an "anxious" person. Anxiety and fear may attack, but they are not who I am. And they certainly do not come from God. And so I started to fight. But too often I fought in my own strength which is glaringly inadequate. These past few years I've been on a journey to live free from anxiety and fear, but not just free from those things. Free to live in the fullness of who God created me to be. It's been a journey of learning and growing. Of pushing and pulling. Of seeing my need for control and perfection as a way to deal with my fears. It's been a journey of learning to trust and letting go.
Then a week ago, my friend gave me the devotional, "One Thousand Gifts Devotional: Reflections on Finding Everyday Graces". And wouldn't you know, it deals heavily with overcoming fear and anxiety. It also, in the beautifully written words, focuses on God's grace, praise, and thankfulness as the way to overcome the anxiety that plagues our souls.
The world says, "Take a pill ... have a drink ... fill your life with stuff."
God says,
"28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-29 NKJV
"6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. 9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:6-9 NKJV
I used to think a project, work, busy-ness would keep the anxiety at bay, and to some extent, it did. Now I know in quiet reflection, in focusing on and praising my Savior, fears aren't just kept at bay, they are banished.
