Bulgaria

Warning: If you hate history you may be bored with this post, but I love history so I'm posting it. Don't worry I spiced it up a bit with useless comments here and there.

Did you know I had a roommate in college from Bulgaria? Yep, I sure did. Her name was Gergana. I have no idea if I'm spelling that right, but we'll go with it. We called her Gery (said like Gary). She was really sweet and a good roommate. If you've lived in a college dorm, you know what a nightmare a bad roommate can be. After college we lost touch. Now, I wish we hadn't.

Unfortunately, I didn't learn much about Bulgaria from her. She did drink massive amounts of coffee . . . not sure if all Bulgarians drink that much coffee (there's a gross generalization), but if I consumed as much as she used to, I wouldn't sleep for two years. Anyway, since I didn't learn much about Bulgaria from Gery I've had to draw from my own knowledge (limited at best) and do a little bit of research. Then I found out that my own knowledge was incorrect, and I crumpled up in a pile of despair. A bit dramatic? Maybe, but I hate being wrong. It happens like once a year. I'm going to blame my high school world history teacher for my misconceptions about Bulgaria. Needless to say, I had always been under the impression that Bulgaria was part of the former Soviet Union or U.S.S.R., but low and behold it wasn't. It was however an ally of the Soviet Union. It was also a communist country and was formerly known as the "People's Republic of Bulgaria". Kind of like being the Artist Formerly Known as Prince. Please don't ask me why I typed that. It just popped into my head. Okay, so back to Bulgaria (sorry about that). After years under communist and socialist rule, Bulgaria became a democracy. By the way, we (the United States) are not a democracy but a republic. If you don't know the difference look it up. It's too much to explain here, and I'm all about Bulgaria today.

Bulgaria is bordered on the north side by Romania, to the west by Serbia and Macedonia, and to the South by Greece and Turkey. The Black Sea lies to the east. Which, by the way is beautiful. I would post some pics, but I don't want to get thrown in jail for copyright infringement. I'd never make it. I'm a wimp. Here is a link to a map where I got this valuable information:
http://www.worldatlas.com/webimage/countrys/europe/balkans.htm

Because Bulgaria is a Christian nation, with most people claiming to be Bulgarian Orthodox, their holidays and traditions are similar to ours. I've looked up a million (or 20 or 30) different Bulgarian recipes. A lot of the ingredients they use are similar to ingredients we use, but the food is prepared a bit differently than ours. I'm going to work on learning a few Bulgarian dishes, and once we receive a referral, I'll learn more about what our little girl (or boy) likes to eat.

So there you have it. A little bit of info on Bulgaria. Most of this information is (very) loosely paraphrased from Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulgaria) and other sources (most of it is considered general knowledge). So if you have nothing better to do and want to read more about Bulgaria, there is a wealth of information out there. But if you find any mistakes in my information, you can't tell me. I've reached my limit for the year.

We Are Sane (Shocked Aren't You?)

That's right everyone, according to my doctor I am sane. Spastic? Yes (if you haven't seen me trip over my own feet for no apparent reason you are missing something funny). Weird? Maybe a little. Obssessive? Sometimes. Hyperactive? Only when I have more than one cup of coffee in a short amount of time (that's another story for another time). But crazy I am not. That's good news when it comes to adoption. Patrick's also normal. I'm using the word normal loosely . . . sorry honey I'm just kidding . . . sort of. No one passed out, and there wasn't a big drama at the doctor's office. So as much as I would love to regale you with stories of people (i.e. Patrick) passing out on the floor or someone just totally not doing their job and messing everything up, it just ain't gonna happen (like how I busted out with the word ain't?). The biggest issue I have is with the doctor's scale. I feel that it weighs ten a few pounds too heavy. At least that's what I like to tell myself. No I didn't just polish off half a box of Hot & Spicy Cheez-Its  . . . those things are addictive . . .


So that's one more thing checked off our list. We are working on finishing the adoption training and workbook. I feel like I'm back in college where I was constantly reading and studying. The problem is, while I read and study I need to eat. Which kind of explains the half empty box of Cheez-Its that someone devoured. I'm blaming Andrew at this point.


Now you'll have to excuse me. I'm going to run 27 miles.

Random Thoughts

I wish I had something exciting, or funny, or witty to post today, but not gonna happen. Why? Because I'm beat. Mondays wear me clean out. Every Monday I feel like I have to get back into the routine of things. You would think I would maybe, just a little bit, try to keep some sort of routine over the weekend, but nope I don't. It's especially gotten bad since Spring Break. I mean I am so over the going to bed early and getting up early routine. Friday hits and I'm like, "Routines? Who needs 'em? They're for sissies." Then I let Andrew stay up until the unholy hour of 9:30 because I really want him to sleep past 6:30. Yep, that's right, it's really all about me folks - I'm not a morning person. So he sleeps late - 7:30 (Hallelujah Chorus begins playing in the background) , and then takes a late nap, which only aids in messing up the whole routine. Sunday night comes and the sun is up late and no one really cares to get back into the routine, so we don't. And that people is why I'm beat on Monday night. Which is why instead of getting ready for bed, I'm sitting here writing to all you people who do or do not read this crazy blog. So we shall see how this all translates to having two children.

And now because this post is already weird and random (and really has nothing to do with adoption), I will leave you with a quote from my three year old, Andrew, "Mama I need three hands, because I have one for left and one for right, but I don't have one for straight."

Good night everyone . . .

He's Got the Whole World in His Hands

I'm a Type A personality. I like things to be done a certain (otherwise known as my way). I very meticulous and methodical. When I start a project, I don't usually stop until it's done. Frankly, I think I probably drive my husband crazy. Food? Who needs it? Sleep? Rest? I'm tireless. Take a break? Really people, we've got a project to finish.

Due to this, I feel that our paperwork should've been done two weeks ago, our training should've been completed yesterday, and our house should be ready for the home visit now. Keep in mind, I have no idea what the home visit will entail, but don't you worry that's why they invented google (whoever they is). Google is my best friend and my worst enemy.

But the problem with the initial part of international adoption is you cannot start and then plough through until you are finished. First of all, there is just too much "stuff" to gather and organize. You depend on other people to get paperwork back to you. Sometimes, as shocking as it is, you have to realize that other people have lives, and families, and jobs. The whole world is not revolving around your family and this adoption. Secondly, even if you could work tirelessly, day in and day out, even if you had no job or family to devote yourself to, even if you didn't need to eat or to sleep, you would be emotionally and mentally exhausted long before you finished.

It's hard to understand how emotionally invested you become in the life of a child that you have never seen, never touched, whose name you don't know, and who honestly, may not even be born yet. But the second you take that leap and become part of the program, you have another child on the way. This adoption is going to be like a very long pregnancy. After all this work, comes the waiting, lots of waiting. And if you know anything about me, you know that I am much better at working than waiting. So while I know that there is work to do, I am also learning that sometimes I need to stop and just enjoy what I have now. When Andrew was little, I used to sing "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands" while I rocked him at night, and I have to trust that He truly does have the whole world in His hands. Even a little girl (or boy as the case may be) who may not even be born yet.

Psalm 139:2-16 (NIV)
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
   you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
   you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
   you, LORD, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
   and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
   too lofty for me to attain.
 ⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
   Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
   if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
   your right hand will hold me fast.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
   and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
   the night will shine like the day,
   for darkness is as light to you.
 ¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.

Trucking Along

Meanwhile back at the ranch . . . we don't really live on a ranch (just in case you didn't know that), I just like to over use idioms in everything I write. It's a really bad habit of mine. Anyway, as I was saying, we've been working on our international adoption training and workbook. It's required before we can complete our homestudy. The training courses are online and have a lot of good information. You can work at your own pace (and there's not a test at the end) so it's not too bad. Now the workbook . . . it's kind of thick . . . like twenty chapters thick. It requires a lot of introspective thinking. And we have to take turns answering the questions. If you know my husband, he's not much into introspective thinking or question answering. So at night, when we sit down to eat dinner, I bust out the workbook. I figure dinnertime is the perfect time to do a little multi-tasking, dig down deep, and bare our souls. Patrick, not so much. Apparently, he wants to enjoy his dinner. What's up with that? He's not nearly as into multi-tasking as his wife. So we decided to wait until we were done eating to answer any deep probing questions. The upside is we won't send in a completed workbook with dried spaghetti sauce on it. We've actually finished 6 chapters . . . only 14 more to go.

No Worries . . .

So my husband informed me last night that I probably ticked off half of the people that work for the county. In all seriousness, no offense was meant to anyone. Although, I still I have issues with the security, but I'm a little on the paranoid side. I'm also a little on the clueless side. Just ask any parent that happens to come to the front office of our school when I'm up there. I have no idea what to do and believe me I don't hide it. I like to look proficient that way.

While I'm on the subject of my school, I have to say that Tina in finance rocks. "Rocks" - now there's a really professional term. But she got my employment letter to me in record time. I really appreciate how helpful she was. My ob/gyn doctor also rocks - there's something you don't hear everyday, but when I asked him for a health letter last week, that had to be notarized, he said it was no big deal. Then yesterday afternoon, one of the ladies called me and said they had it ready. It was so not a hassle. And now I promise never to mention that doctor again. Just in case any boys read this blog.

Next week Patrick and I have to go to our general practitioner to get our physicals done. We have to have bloodwork. Now having blood drawn doesn't bother me in the least. I mean when I was pregnant I think I had blood drawn 800 times (give or take about 775). When I had Andrew they kept drawing blood to see if I needed a transfusion (see the Beginning post - no I do not know how to link it and I'm too lazy to figure it out). I figured if they kept sucking blood out of me, I would need a transfusion. Anyone about to pass out yet? Now Patrick, well he's not exactly a big fan of needles or blood or doctors in general. So hopefully, we won't have to pick him up off the floor. I'll keep you posted. On the other hand, if he does pass out it will make for some good drama :)

This is Courtney signing off until later . . . (I just said that because it sounds reporterish and official - I'll talk to ya'll later)

Welcome to Mayberry

Speaking of Passports . . . we sent our passport applications off today. We have to have them before we submit our paperwork to Bulgaria. We had our pictures made at Walgreens. I've been telling Patrick he can't smile for the passport photo, but he insisted he could. The lady put him in front of the screen, and he cracked a big 'ole smile, and she said "sorry sir but you can't smile". Ahem . . . what have I been telling you? I'm much better at not smiling. I practice everyday while teaching a classroom full of fourth graders.

So once we had our supermodel worthy passport photos in hand, we headed to the courthouse annex building to send off our passport applications. This is where my mother told me to go. She knows these things. Anyway, we get there and there is no one anywhere near the entrance. We walked around the metal detectors . . . the security is top notch (insert theme song from the Andy Griffith show here). I mean Washington D.C. has nothing on the courthouse annex in our county. We finally found a very sweet, but slighlty clueless girl, to help us. She informed us that we weren't at the courthouse annex (uh yeah it says Courthouse Annex on the outside of the building but okie dokie), and the only thing they handled was criminal court cases. Which is why they had the stellar security at the entrance. Patrick then tells the girl we'll go "ask around" and find out where we get passports done. I'm not exactly sure where we were going to "ask around" but that was the plan. Did I mention that throughout all of this we had Andrew, who's 3, and my nephew Anthony, who's 8 - they walked through the metal detector . . . multiple times. So as we're headed out to "ask around" and the same sweet girl comes running back and says that we were indeed in the right place. We were then directed to the District Clerk's office. At this point it was a little after 4:30 and the lady at the desk informed us that they only process passports between 1:00 and 4:30 p.m. All I could think was "you have got to be kidding me!" Don't worry I didn't say it. She then says that she'll make an exception (thank goodness I didn't say what I was thinking). She was actually very nice once she started going through the paperwork. Ten minutes later we were done and on our way. We walked out past the invisible security guard and headed home.

And this ladies and gentlemen is why the next time I have jury duty I will wear a bullet proof vest and possibly a helmet.

Beginning

So yeah, we're adopting. But it is very clear that we can have children. . . I mean we didn't pick Andrew up at Sam's now did we? So why choose to adopt?

As some of you already know, Andrew was born 5 weeks early. On the day of my baby shower . . . not that I'm still thinking about that. He was born via emergency C-section because I was having some major problems. If you want to look it up, it's called placental abruption. I'm not going into the gory details. On a side note, the Mayo Clinic is a great place to look things up, but be careful, you may diagnose yourself with 15 other diseases while you're there. I'm not kidding! Needless to say, he made his entrance into this world 5 weeks early weighing 4 lbs 13 oz and measuring 17 inches long. He was healthy, thank God, but he was still tiny. Now, one statistic I will give you about p.a. is that it happens in less than 1% of healthy pregnancies. Once it has happened to you the chances of it happening again are at least 15%. Which means subsequent pregnancies are high risk (mostly in the third trimester). I was told by my doctor I would most likely be on bed rest after 30 weeks. Ummmm, I couldn't stay in bed when I had the flu and was running 104 temp. When Patrick would leave I would get up and wash dishes (while holding my breath of course). I'm pretty sure I couldn't survive 5+ weeks of bed rest. Plus p.a. is very risky for the baby and the mother. It just wasn't a risk we were willing to take, so we decided that we weren't going to have anymore on our own. Now time for a disclaimer - if you've decided to have a high-risk pregnancy, I in no way think that you are wrong for doing it. It just isn't for us.

That alone wasn't the only reason that we decided to adopt. The truth is I had been thinking about adoption long before Andrew was born. I always knew (because I'm smart like that) that even if we had kids biologically, we would also adopt at least one. It was more a matter of the right timing for our family, and Patrick (wisely) wasn't ready quite as quickly as I was. We waited until we both felt ready to plough ahead with adding another child to our family.

So that kind of brings you up to speed. One thing I do want to address are reasons that are not good reasons to adopt. We are not adopting because we are "good" people. We are not adopting because we want to save an orphan from an orphanage. We are not adopting because we want this child to grow up in a Christian home. Now I'm not saying that those things aren't true - I mean we're not evil and malicious people and this child will be saved from life in an orphanage and he or she will be raised in a Christian home. It's just that none of those are good reasons to adopt. We are adopting simply because we feel that for us it is the right way to add to our family.  This is the way we want to bring another son or daughter into our home.

Now I have to go and check on a little boy that spends 90% of his time in a spiderman costume. He's the real reason I want more kids. I never imagined how great it would be to be a mother . . .

Have a good afternoon.

Questions

Why start this blog?
I debated whether or not I should start a blog when we first started the adoption process. I couldn't decide if it was worth it. Would anyone really care? I decided to go ahead with it for a few reasons: (1) Even if no one ever reads it, it will be a great way to document this whole process. (2) People have started asking questions and facebook isn't the best place to give long detailed answers. It will also provide a means of keeping friends and family who aren't right next door updated. (3) Finally, I hope that it may possibly connect us to others who are also adopting internationally.

Why Bulgaria?
We've I've been talking about adopting for years. If you know me well you know that I talk a lot so it's not unusual for me to ramble on while others sort of listen. It's been that way all my life; it doesn't bother me. So anyway (got off track there for a minute), I've been talking about adoption since Andrew was about a year old, but we both knew that we weren't ready to start the process yet. Andrew was still too young.

Over the past couple years, I've researched various adoption agencies and different programs. Recently, as in February 13, Patrick and I started talking about adopting again, and we knew that we were finally ready to start the process. We submitted our application with All God's Children International the very next day. We originally expressed interest in Taiwan, mostly due to the fact that it only requires one short trip to pick up your child and the wait time is relatively short. Taiwan is a pilot program with our adoption agency, so we knew there was a chance that it wouldn't work out. While we waited, I looked at other countries. I went back to Bulgaria over and over. The main thing that was stopping us from pursuing Bulgarian adoption was that fact that you must travel to the country twice. The first time you spend 5 days bonding with your child. The second time (2-4 months later) you spend 7-10 days in Bulgaria and you come home with your child. In addition to all the adoption fees, traveling back and forth to Bulgaria is very costly. The other thing that concerned us was the long wait times (20-36 months). However, it ended up that Taiwan was not accepting any new applications and our contact at the agency suggested that we look at Bulgaria. We talked and prayed about it for a couple weeks and decided that Bulgaria was the way to go.

Information overload! If you actually read through all of that, you deserve an award. If you have any questions leave them in the comments or facebook me, and I'll try to answer them. I'll be explaining more about the process in the near future.

A few prayer requests: We are working on paperwork, so pray that we get everything done and done quickly. Pray that our doctors and employers (mine in particular) are cooperative and help us get everything we need finished in a timely manner. Also, pray that our FBI fingerprints come back quickly. Finally, pray that Bulgaria begins processing adoptions more quickly.

Have a great day!